I’m in heavy academic mode this week, reading, reading, reading… I stumbled across an article in my reading that deals with something all of us hear all the time: “Hey, I’m not perfect” (I have semi-quoted Darlene Ouimet’s article below, with a few edits.
What do people mean when they declare in an exasperated voice “Well sorry! I’m not perfect” There are different versions of this statement said in different ways, with different voice inflictions so for the purpose of “fog busting”, here are a few of them:
“I’m not perfect” This is stated as though “perfection” is what someone is asking for and implying that the problem is not their actions but in fact the expectations of others.
“Well sorry I’m not perfect”; Stated as a plea to make someone sorry that they made this person feel bad. Once again this is turned around on you indicating that you have done or said the wrong thing and that the problem is actually NOT theirs, but yours.
“I never said I was perfect” Stated a little heavy on the sarcasm indicating that once again you have asked too much and indicating that your expectations are unreasonable — as though you are the one who is causing the problem and as though there wouldn’t BE a problem if it were not for you.
“Sorry I am not as perfect as YOU”. This statement also casts the focus back onto you as the problem person in the relationship for the purpose of getting you to back off on your “overly high expectations”
Each of these statements deflects from the problem that came up in the first place… Instead of engaging in a discussion about the actual problem, they made it look like you were being unreasonable and deflected the focus off of them by bringing a new subject into the conversation. In this case, it is the new subject (communicated by the phrase “I’m not perfect”) is about your “expectations” which are too high.
See more at: http://emergingfrombroken.com/saying-sorry-i%E2%80%99m-not-perfect-deflects-from-the-point/#sthash.eSbrNqRg.dpuf