Serving as a Pastor is an ongoing education. Some days are filled with delightful discoveries, others with doubts, disappointments and despair. Here are a few random thoughts about what I have learned, and am learning:
Friends are Friends forever is mostly a song title.
Those people who are your close friends? The ones who called you when they were sick for prayer? The ones you stood beside when their kids were in rebellion, and the ones you invested your life in? They may be your buddies, but once you plant a church or assume a pastorate, don’t be stupid enough to also assume their devotion and support.
People are funny, Not “Ha, ha!” funny… I mean odd. They will be your friend until God calls you, and favors you, and places you in a position of responsibility and authority — then you discover who your real friends are. Some of the ones you counted upon, placed on your short list of people you were sure you could count on, and factored into your plans, will disappear when you least expect them to and most need their help. Go figure.
“I’m not being fed here” really means….
…I prefer junk food. Every pastor has heard the phrase, and often from friends (See above). It is usually –forgive the Theological terminology– a crock. If a congregation is thriving, or even growing, and one person says they are not being fed there, the problem is almost always with the disgruntled member and not with the teaching pastor. The root of the problem, quite often, is that the complainer is spiritually a big, fat, overgrown but immature member who is sitting with open mouth waiting to be spoon-fed some comfort food of their choice. They are the ones who never crack open a Bible for personal devotions, and seldom pray other than announcing their “gimme” list to the Great-Vending-Machine-In-The-Sky. These are the folks (don’t shout out any names, here) who are always looking for the next big thing, the newest, flashiest, trendiest fad to blow through the church world, and who get upset when their pastor doesn’t jump on the passing bandwagon. They are impressed more with numbers, performance and image than with faithfulness. My advice? Never beg them to reconsider. No matter who they are, or what positions they hold, or how much support they contribute, you are far better off wishing them Godspeed, blessing them on their way, and hope they don’t reconsider and come back.
Beware of flattery!
The person who frequently tells you how wonderful you are, what a gifted, anointed leader you are, and how your sermon changed their life? Watch them closely. Proverbs 26:28 includes “…a flattering mouth works ruin.” I can testify.
Years ago a wise old Pastor told me that he and his wife had observed something interesting. When moving to a community to assume a new pastorate, they always noted who was the first person from the congregation to meet them and greet them… the person who showed up to help them move in and get settled. Their experience taught them to expect that individual to be the first one to turn on them and spearhead the calls for a new pastor when the pastoral honeymoon ended.
Pastors are spiritual leaders, not managers. Or at least they should be.
Some of the same skills carry over, of course, but PASTOR ≠ MANAGER. If your church operation is so complex, so large, that it requires a Comptroller, a Human Resources Director, an Operations Manager or all of the above, hire them. Don’t expect the visionary, spiritual leader of the congregation to necessarily possess the skills of a CEO, CPA or even those of a fast-food shift manager. No, you don’t want a total idiot at the helm, but the role of pastoral leadership is to provide inspirational direction, modeling, mentorship, and a prophetic voice, and sometimes those roles conflict with the skills of secular management. Pick one. Pick wisely.
Excellent thoughts. “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace………….”