I spend way too much time of late frustrated and confused in my interactions with fellow followers of Christ. Let me preface this by saying I realize that it is my problem, my issue, and I am not writing this to cast blame — rather I am doing a bit of reflective self-analysis in an attempt to understand the changes in society that impact me negatively.
Growing up, our family life revolved around the church… completely. Every time the church doors were open, we were there, and the doors were open a lot. We attended church Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening and youth services on Friday night, plus spent hours volunteering and fundraising for the church. Somebody funnier and smarter than me put it this way; “When I was a kid I had a drug problem; I was drug to Sunday School, drug to church, drug to prayer meeting, drug to youth group, drug to church camp…” As a child, the word “vacation” in our household meant a week at a church State Convention or General Assembly, surrounded by others who shared our passion for and commitment to the church. Our heros were people who had forsaken all for the sake of the call; missionaries to far away lands, itinerant evangelists who lived out of suitcases, staying in the spare bedroom of a host pastor, praying in enough resources for just one more week on the revival circuit. There were issues with that lifestyle, I know. I have dealt with some of them in my own life as I came to age. But, in balance, I wouldn’t trade my total-immersion childhood for the kind more common today, in which church attendance is something done when there’s nothing better to do. I gave up career ambitions and the “normal” life aspirations of home ownership, roots, and investments in favor of a life of committed service to God through the vehicle of his church, and I have no regrets. My “vacations” from my secular jobs before full-time pastoral ministry were spent investing in the lives of other people’s children directing summer camp programs for almost 25 years. My rigid upbringing, against which I struggled and chafed as a teenager, has served me and my family well. I “married up” — way up. (It’s a southernism.) Amy is as committed to the church as I am, and both of our adult children are actively and passionately serving Christ. Josh plays bass in the worship band at Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, and Tori plays guitar and sometimes leads worship at Reunion in Honolulu. They believe that the church — not the civil government — is the hope of the world as the church represents Christ to the world. I get calls and visits in my office from parents and concerned church leaders, weeping over the lack of spiritual depth in their children, agonizing over their teenagers’ rebellion, their desire to be involved in unholy activities and their rejection of the values of the parents. Some of those same people were critical of the way we raised our own kids, but I don’t think we did so bad. Struggling with your teenagers/kids? Bring them to church every time you can. Get them involved in the childrens/youth program at church… TOTALLY involved. Make attendance mandatory, not optional. Lead by example. Take them to church with you — don’t send them or drop them off. Provide volunteer opportunities for them to learn to serve, even if it means involuntary servitude at first. Set the tone by making sure your children know that you put church before sports, church before recreation, church before household chores, church before shopping. Expecting out of town company? Great. Make sure they know that there are two non-negotiable hours on Sunday morning when you will be at church… and they are welcome to join you, or wait for you. I believe church matters. A lot.