Okay… a Man Bag (that sounds vaguely obscene)… a MURSE… a male purse, if you insist.
A friend of mind had back problems and problems with his leg going numb. This was traced to driving around sitting on a massive wallet stuffed with charge cards, customer loyalty cards, business cards from contacts, cash, receipts, and a dozen other necessities.
Guys carry a lot of stuff. So much that they can end up with a fat, exploding wallet like George Costanza on Seinfeld.
I gave up on the traditional men’s wallet a few years ago, when it became overwhelmed, and I switched to a “travel wallet” — it is a big. 4.5 x 9.5 inch hand clutch.
It has to be that big, because right now it contains my Driver License, 2 debit cards from two different credit unions + a plastic photo ID from one of those credit unions, a MasterCard for local church purchases, a Visa Business Check card for state denomination purchases, an American Express Card for travel, a Sam’s Club + a Costco membership card, a Kaiser Medical card, a Hawaii Dental Service card, a Marriott Rewards card, a Delta SkyMiles card, a Korean Air SkyPass card, a Hawaiian Air mileage card, a Regal Crown (movie theater points) card, a Safeway Club card, a Hawaii Library Card, a Marine Corps Officers Club membership card, 2 plastic gift cards (Barns & Noble and Starbucks), two cardboard Clergy Parking Pass courtesy cards for two different hospitals, some cash and a few receipts from purchases over the past couple of days. Excluding currency and receipts, that’s over 20 thick items. When I am traveling, I add a Passport, often have both U.S. currency + foreign currency from one or more countries, and PILES of receipts that must be saved for accounting purposes.
I have, of course, endured a lot of teasing and good-natured ribbing from people saying, “Hey, don’t forget your purse!” I am way past caring. In fact, I am so tired of lugging the travel wallet, big set of keys, iPhone, iPhone earbuds, some breath mints and sometimes a Flip Video camera and the occasional other item, that I am looking for a bag.
Yep. A man bag. A male purse… a murse, which I am learning is better marketed as a “gear bag.” I am old enough not to be overly concerned about fashion (I have not worn anything particularly stylish in a couple of decades), I am secure enough in my testosterone level to not be concerned about being thought effeminate or being mistaken for gay, and I have lost enough stuff on airplanes to place a premium upon efficiency and function over image.
Image, shmimage.
Well, that’s not completely true. I have ruled out the fanny pack option. Yeah, I know it fits the functional criteria and people expect old codgers to wear fanny packs, but they are so… so… so fanny pack. Besides, I have a bladder the size of a walnut and know where every unlocked public restroom on the Island of Oahu is located (because I need to know, that’s why) and fanny packs seem to press on me in ways that exacerbate the problem.
I’d love to get something dashing and manly, like the Jack Bauer or Indiana Jones bags…
…but they are huge. That, plus a bag that looks dashing and manly on a bare-chested Harrison Ford will look way less dashing and manly on an overweight, aloha-shirted pasty white guy.
So I am on a quest; I will find an acceptable gear bag worth the almost certain ridicule I will endure for carrying it. It has to be small, but not tiny, or it starts to really look girly/pursey. Some of the gear bags I have seen in stores are essentially Messenger Bags big enough to lug a laptop, and are too big for my purposes. Military colors seem to work… khaki, olive drab green, but definitely NOT camo. A wide cross-body shoulder strap is required… an auto or airline seatbelt strap would be very cool. Nothing too cheesy or gimmicky. Nothing dressy that is all shiny, finished leather. Nothing that looks like it’s made for a teenager — I am 59 after all, and I don’t wear my hair all spikey and I do wear socks with loafers.
Some of these have possibilities…
Confession: I use a fanny pack. But I don’t have physiological challenges. Yet.My thoughts on some of your possibilities. #4: Forget it. It looks like a bag you can’t get dirty or scruffy.#6: Looks beautiful. Probably smells great. But it’s too fem.#7: That’s a man’s gear bag. Weathered, functional, neutral color (goes with everything), loaded with pockets.#9: Too designer looking. Designer on men=fem.#12: It just screams “EMERGENCY.” No.#13: Handsome. Clean lines. Sophisticated yet accessible.#14: Looks like the updated version of Indy’s bag in #2. Contender, if you don’t mind the buckle strap. #15: The green stripe’s gotta go. Otherwise, cool looking bag that will age nicely.
The only ones I’d let my husband carry are 4 or 15. The other ones, I would carry. I’m not a very girly girl but still. The material on 4 actually looks to me like parachute material. That would be durable and clean up easily.15 looks like it’s a high tech army bag! Sleek yet rugged and manly looking.
I have one very similar to #5. Canvas with the leather trim and accents. Easy to carry with lots of room for all the crap I now carry (hearing aid case and extra batteries, spare glasses, thousands of pills my Dr. thinks I need, MP3 player, etc). My wife calls it my purse; I think of it more as a very large wallet (with a shoulder strap)?
Ah! I meant 13, not 15.